God save my soul please

 Dear god please. I don’t wanna be a vampire anymore. I don’t wanna tear human flesh and feast on their veins. I don’t want to chew open the carotid arterie anymore. I don’t want to be helled underwater I want to sleep during the night and wake up in the morning and help people. No, I don’t wanna help people. I want only for myself. I want to be at piece. I want to be a piece in God’s work. I have done nothing to diserve god’s gifts, or even his mercy. 

Dear lord please make my teacher change the meeting time so I can sleep consistintly for 3 days straight. Please bend me back into the shape of a human. You ever try bending a paper clip back into shape after fucking it up? It will always be fucked up, unless you melt it down and pour it back into the paper clip mold. And even then it won’t be the same as it was before. Dear lord I don’t want to be the same as before I just want to not be a vampire. I don’t wanna be a creature of the night, I want to be a creature of the earth. A sinful scrambling human, fucking around with rocks and guns. In exchange... ... in exchange I won’t spread the word of the lord, or become a priest. I act only for myself, not for others, not even for God. I have nothing to offer in return. Maybe once I am poured out back into the shape I will find something to give. Or maybe,,, you could just take my soul. Do whatever you will with it. I don’t even use it. I am evil. 

God if you’re reading this, please clean my soul. 

I have 2 brains

 One brain is for crowd control, the other is for single target use.

I use my brain to shoot tendrils that suck out the blod of iniscents. Inoscents. They are not inocent. They are liars, all of them. Filthy, and gross. I cry every time I feed, but I also scream in joy and make loud noises like a racket like an animal. The tendrils reach out and feast upon flesh and suck out the blood straight into my 

blood stream. It’s my new way of sucking blood. I like it because I can get a lot more 🧛🏿‍♀️blood more quickly. I am a creature of the night, I have the right to antagonize the day walkers. It’s my job. Your job is to let me suck your blood. Do your job right and maybe I’ll let you suck out some of mine. Only if you promise to fuck off and go live somewhere else. Vampires are like spiders, we are soliciatary creatures. 

🖤💉❤️just like the one winged dove, sings a song sounds like she’s singan.’ 🖤💋💔

I want to clarifyie

 I just stepped on a rock, and it waz alive. It made my leg hurt. It still hurts. 

I want to clarify that i was lieng in the last post. About what? You’ll just have to guess. I wouldn’t want to share secrets with my prey.

People who think they’re smart

 they are not smart. I am. I’m the smartest fucking person alive. I wish I could help them become as smart as me, but my intellect is genetic, haha. 

So I see these people on the internit, and I see them in the lobby, and I hear them in my ears (not coming from inside my head), and they sound like me... but the me right before some of the checks and balances set in. Thoughts like “I have veins in my body” “there is blood in my veins” that is weird? Yes? Nope. The checks and balances say “of course you have blood and veins, it fits the aesthetic god created the earth with. This aesthetic can be interpreted differently for everyone. But regardless of every interpretation god fucking did this shit because he thought it was funny. I just switched to a compyuter so i can use this site easier and it doesnt give me epilepsy. 

what was i talking about? oh yeah. 

one of the rules of the checks and balances is to not get stuck on one thought unless you want to. like the possibility that after you die, you are infinately revived in a new life, therefore experiecing infinate pain. that scares me. i dont want to have to become a vampire again, and that will probably only happen in like 3 of the other infinity lives i will respawn in. humans feel pain. vampyres only do if they choose to. its a vampire thing. you wouldnt get it, unless you were one of us. 

this thought made me de pressed for a few months. actually kind of a year, and then it still lingered after that. you know how i got rid of it? every time i thought of it, i thought myself, "we dont think about that stuff" and at first it didnt work but now my body makes me not think of it automatically. i am a god. not THE god though. im not as funny as him. 

another thing "smart" people do is act like theyre smart. you are not smart. even if you are, you look stupid, so it doesnt matter. i dont like saying it doesnt matter or using extremes like that because its not true, but to convey the message i want to convey i will say it. anyways some depressed people who actually are smart carry themselves online like they are smart, which comes off like you are a know it all, shut up. if you act like youre smart then when you say wrong things you look stupid. i say wrong things on purpose all the time to combat this, because im god. not the god, mined you. anyways acting like youre smart may work on stupid people, but smart people like me who come in very short supply by the way can see what youre doing, and like please you dont need to act smart you are smart. smart in the way that may or may not matter. i dont mean matter like in life well like yes i do but mmm.

so you guys wanna know something? The way i think in my mind is i see colors and feel feelings and i see blood and images and videos and i convey myself messages without using words a lot of the time. sometimes i use words too but when i dont have them i just use the feelings. it takes time to put these feelings into words. its hard. i crie. i scream. i tried to tell some guy something but i couldnt because it wasnt in words until it was too late. this is part of how im so smart. i just understand things instantly with feelings that match things in real life. these feelings are more complicated than we as a creature species have words to describe for, i mean we do, but they are considered deep feelings, and youd only tell them to your lover, your therapist, your parents, and stuff. im not the only one who works with feelings like this, i know that because i choose to be smart, and um i dont know why i put a comma but bascially like there isnt a quick way to describe these things in at least american society, which causes a problem for me a lot. i can describe them, but you wont understand, probably because my description gives you a different feeling. like when i say umm the scary like fake space science human early monkey umm scary mastadon bones fear umm ancient things you probably will feel different thigns than me, cause you didnt have the dream i had last night. 

I could go on for a long time about this stuff, but riet now you guys want to hear about people who think they;re smart, right? ok lets continue.

step 1: why i am smart and theyre not. 

i am a bit slower than most people in progressing in life, but i am very fast in regressing my mind. haha im just kidding i mean i understand things way quicker. because my mind just tells me things. sometimes my brain makes me expersience something, and then i exprence it in real life and i feel like wow ive done this before, and then i wake up and the entire fucking thing was a dream, fuck you brain. i hate having day terrors. i hate waking up and banging my head on the inside of the coffin lid i wanna get a coffing i can stand up in. motherfucker.

step 2: i am a fucking vampire. yes i will keep talking about myself i lied, haha.

this only makes me a little bit smarter because i am more aware of the world than humans but only to a suprizingly earthly degree.

step 3: why are naked women in every one of my dreams. i just remembered.

ok so my brain keeps like making me experience sex in my dreams all the time and i wake up and im like wow glad that wasnt real, kinda cool it happend in my dream but nuh uh no way. 

step 4: what the fuck was i talking about (haha no thats not supposed to be humerous, hhaah humerous kike the bone) i will chew on your femur.

hi

Hey

There are people who can act liek theyre smart just by using the look on their face. i want a bite of their face. i wanna lick the blood from the back of their eyeballs. i have a very long tongue, i use to slither around the VITAL organs. like a boa constructor, i squeeze the organs, they pop and explode. blood comes everywhere. some people give me these evil looks. like they just fucking saw me for the first time, and theyre giving me this evil, malicious, look. like they know they can harm me. i hate it. i didnt even rip out your organs yet. why is that the first impression you want to give to certain people? that you are a malicious asshole? i dont underztand. 

I wanna move to Japan. I herd you can be a hermit there. i wanna be a hermit, but in an actual house, not a plywood insulated box with a coffin. mmm. coffee. coughing. i jsut coughed. i forgot what i wuz talking about. oh yeah i want a house in japan where i can hide from people. ever heard of wherewolves in london? next its gonna be a vampire in japan. im gonna suck peoples blood until some protagonist comes along and ends me, but that wont happen because ill be in china by then. i dont mind the fine dust. it suits me. i have vampiric lungs, i can take it. in china i will suck peoples blood in ways that make it look like the chinese governmenr is making people dissapear, i will suck their blood. i will lick it up off the floor. when i wuz young i used to think about killing small animals, it made me feel powerful. now what makes me feel powerful is my long claws and sharp teeth. i slash at the greedy. i slash at the needy. i bite down on their necks with my sharp teeth, and suck the blood through the holes in my teeth. yes, thats right. vampires have holes in their teeth, like snakes, that they use to suck the blood. we just drink it for fun. either way of ingestion works. its kinda gross, but i like it because i like the taste of blood. 

moral of the story: i am god, and those who think otherwise will soon stop thinking. because their blood will be in my veins, as god intended it to be. he made vampires real because he thought it was funny. same reason he made us have veins like plants. its his fault, its all god. i uzed to think he waznt real but he is because he is testing me constantly. i forget most of the time and only sometimes i can clearyl see it, i dont know what he wants but maybe ill figure out some time. in the mean time, i will continue to feast on your kind. i will lick the inside of your eyeballs with my tongue, and chew on your fingers with my insisors.

you are my next prey, and it you think you're smart, make sure you really are before you end up on someone's dinner table. not mine of course... 

ive already got a full plate. 

If I was an animal I would be...

 I would want to be a terror bird, because they are powerful and can bite down on a human neck and snap it off in one bite. My victems wouldn’t be able to run away fast enough as I chased them with my she-hulk legs and I would fuckeng jump out of bushes and step on their necks with my talons. I would listen to them scream as I just stood there with an emotionless look on my massive avian face. I don’t pity those who I kill. I need them to survive. Their blood is my nectar. 

If you’re wondereng what happens to the blood vampires drinck, it depends on the vampire. Some of them just don’t shit, they pee clear water cause they abosorbed all the iron into their skin. Others shit out pure iron and copper from the blood. They melt it down and sell it to humans. Or just make things out of it. It is vulgar. Disgusting, but no one can tell us that, or at least no one can tell us that and get away with it. 

If I wasn’t a terror bird I would want to be a shark. They just swim, and eat things, and they don’t think about anything. I would like that. They can live for like hundreds of years and they just fucking fuck around and suck on things. There is a peacefulness to them. If you get past the quiet terror, they are peaceful. Even when they eat they eat quickly and nonchanantly. They just exist, and don’t worry about why. I would love to suck on a shark, like the way you give someone a hicky. But I wouldn’t give them a hicky I’d just suck on their rough skin,  and taste the salt of the ocean .

Third choice: an eae. An eagle . The website is glitching our, making it very hard to type, and give me a headaeche. My stomach is groaning. I need some blood now. Luckily I now have a plug so I don’t have to go without blood for days like last time. Good bye. 

I am attracted to Red She-Hulk

 Yeah i know its the third post today, but i dont care. i have a crush. i know she isnt real, but she makes a brief light in my dark life. i strive to be like her, even when she's evil, cause part of being a vampire is being evil. 

I like strong, powerful, and smart women, smart in a way like they actually know things. most people are fucking stupid, but thats ok, as long as they arent a fucking asshole. red she hulk is smart and an asshole, so i like her. shes like me. im an asshole on purpose because im a vampire and i need to drink blood. shes an asshole because she's red and needs to smash people. being a hulk isnt easy. i know this because i basically am the hulk. people want to fucking kill me unil they realize i will fucking kill them and suck their blood. 

she also somehow just knows everything. like me. i feel the kind of happiness you feel that makes you cry. just like the one-winged dove, sings a song sounds like she's singing. im going to cosplay as red she hulk in public when i go out to drink people's blood. maybe ill get on the news, and then people will show up to my house when i dont want them to and fucking poke holes in me with wooden steaks. it doesnt kill me, it just hurts. fucking annoying. im thinking of making a short film about red she hulk. i will post it to youtube when im finished with it. men have their wives, i, not a man, have my crush. i am not a man i am a vampire. just to clarify. 

thanks for listening to me talk about my new fixation, you are my next prey. I'll see you on animal planet when i rip your guts out of your neck, and slurp loudly on the blood of your organs. *swoons*

I have more to say.

 I thrive in the dark. In the places where everything else is dead, so I shine. But do I really? No. I thrive in my own space, alone. But as essential as food and water, I need contact with other kin. I go out and talk to people, and they throw rocks at me. I run away, and think that’s enough to fuel my power. In my home under the train tracks I hear the trains go by, the buzz of the bugs, and then it stops. The train passes, the bugs get caught in the spider’s web, eaten. I make my art. 

Women are inferior to men. I found this out when I became a woman. This is what society thinks. I don’t want to be a woman anymore, so I become a something. Take a look at me, what am I? “Uh, really tall?” NO! I’m an ogre. I am shrek. “”Ah! Help,l! Run! Big stupid ugly FAGGOT!”” That’s what they say to me. Faggot is apparintly an insult to straight people too. You know me, I watch too much porn of women. So much so that I can’t see women an equally respectful way I see men. Maybe respectful isn’t the right word. I don’t have more respect for men, I hate most of them. Fucking annoying, and rude. Being loud and gross is fine, if it doesn’t involve being a fucking asshole. But being an asshole is encouraged in society. I’m never going outside. But If I don’t i don’t get my blood. I need to feed. It makes me strong. I hunger for therst. I therst for blood. The first time I sucked blood, I screamed. I don’t scream anymore. I make the most of it.

Join me in becoming my next meal.

I’m so tired 😪

 oh my god I need blood to survive when I’m low on blood I get tired I haven’t drinken blood in 3 days it’s exhausting I’m struggling to find victems they’re all running away it’s horrible. Being a vampire is hard. I thought it would be easy. Why is the price of being set for life always having to live in constant fear and motion. Actually that’s not true, that’s what they want you to think. You can thrive and not be constantly pursued if you don’t get caught. The problem is I got caught and people know who I am and they know I’m a vampire and that I drink blood. So they run away. How horrid. 🧛🏿‍♀️ I have a god complex 🥾🐜 but I am a god... so I guess I’m just in the right state of mind. Can’t have a god complex if you are a god. Just like the one winged dove singes a song sounds like she’s singan. And the days go bye in the wind in the win and eback I tease my own, I begin again. Said to my friend, nothin else matters 🎸🎸🎸🎸 

Please someone out there, let me suck you’re blood. I’m starveng. Please.