Weekly absence of peace

It seems like at least once a week the madness escapes and takes over my vessel. I gain immense blood thirst and feel insane. I writhe and scream but there is no danger, but there is and it’s inside me like a virus. I love horrible nightmares they’re so fucking funny. I also love forcing myself to sleep to escape the madness. It doesn’t work. It follows me into my nightmares. I turn to narcotic substances to shield my brain from the madness. It may just make it worse. I don’t know now if I will fall asleep again or rise. I hate having some place to be at a specific time. The madness doesn’t like it, and does everything in its power to make me fucking miss that one time out of all the other fucking hours of the night, or day. Fuck you. I’mmmdjmdf I c can’t see very well. Oh shit that was in my nightmare. Fucking hell I hate this shit.