I can’t escape the darkness

Hi guys. No one is reading. Recently I’ve been swimming through the inky black abyss recently. For a long time. I have reached the surface, but it’s night time out here. It is always night. I was awake one day. But now the night of that day the hours pass by in minutes as I shiver and ache from the pain of remembering the place I may have been welcome to. There were humans. They were emo too. But they weren’t vampires. But they saw me as one of their own. Except they didn’t know I was a vampire. I wonder. If I told them. Would they still accept me? I mean I did tell them but I don’t think they believed it. I wanted to show them but I didn’t have the heart to do it. I wanted to spare them from any more horrors. They had seen enough. I wonder if I went back would they. I don’t know. I don’t know if it would cause me more pain than I’m in now or not. For reference I am held together by barely anything. All my bones are sticking out. My eyes have sunk so far into my skull that I see dark vignettes around everything. I kind of just let the lake carry me around in circles. Sometimes fish nibble at my bones. It hurts a little bit. Today I ate blood so I got a boost to keep living. Hopefully tomorrow and the coming days there will be more. It’s so weird thinking about how much worse I am now compared to when I first became a vampire. There’s a silence. Everything is quieter, and I am just alone. I need help. I need someone to pull me out of the lake. Why am I alive?