Pain

I think I figured it out I need to make some friends. It’s not going outside that fixes the problem. It’s being with other people. It’s all I can think about. Maybe that’s why it’s all I can think about. The restlessness went away for a a bit but it’s back and I go to sleep now to stave it off. There is a zombie in plants vs zombies which is a game I plaiyed a long time ago it said “this zombie shivers, not because he’s cold, but because he’s crazy.” That’s me I was I was walking and I was under a waterfall and the water was falling on me and I just spasm and scream and when I walk I shake and I it looks like I’m trying to throw a bunch of rats or bugs off my arms and legs but they’re stuck there. Temporary distracting the brain by using erratic movements. Eeeek I’m scarred right now. Scared. But I go outside and nothing helps but I see people and it helps like I need it I need the perc jessie I need it now.

I don’t want to zee anyone but I haev to. Fuck. I should try to find meds. I tried to suck someone’s blood last night but  I couldn’t do it. I am too much losing it. I don’t remember what the wires are. I think they left me. I don’t know where I’m going. It doesn’t seem like there is a world to save here. I have indulged in fictions far too much. Shit fuck the police are here go away I DONT WANT TO FUCKING MURDER YOU GET SOMEWHERE ELSE GET LOST