who is talking? who is this? not even "who am i" just like who is making these posts? it sounds like there are like 6 different people on here but its always just one person (aside from emo age fish occasionally). are they all different people or are they all just me. its like theres a couple of them because sometimes i dont remember anything about a post and then other times i remember it completely, but then others i understood clearly are now a confusing mess that doesnt make sense. i think there is a mad creature inside me that takes all the terror and fear and madness into itself so my body does not tear itself apart. like a liver or something. my head hurts. i feel a ringing in my brain. my eyes hurt and my head is hot. like its melting itself. i need the sun to come up i need to see the sky i need to see the water. i feel like ive been brought to a point of absolute terror. i need to stop thinking right now. but i cant. not for two weeks. how long can i go with a brain that is cooking itself in fear? you know every time i type a period i delete and re type it several times until i put it in the right way. but usually it never becomes the right way so i just grab my hand to make it stop. my entire upper body eminates heat. it comes off my arms and my back and my head. energy that needs to be released because it is just cooking my flesh. i am in fear. i dont know how to stop being in fear. it feels like a very hot white hand is reaching into the back of my neck , wrapping its fingers around the bones in my neck. like its choking me from the inside. i can feel it through my eyeballs. like the energy of the hand is radiating through my eyeballs making them want to roll back and go blind. i twitch more and more every day. , it increases. i think i am the mad creature. when will i be put back away out of sight? when. , not soon enough. not soon enough . the hand is so hot its cold.
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