every single fucking one of you shut up please agh fuck i mean why am i so intolerant of idiocy? maybe because everyone else is allowed to be a fucking idiot but im not. "oh well why not just allow yourself to be an idiot" YOU ESPECIALLY SHUT THE FUCK UP YOUR ADVICE IS ALWAYS SHIT MY GOD. I COULD SPEND HOURS EXPLAINING WHY THAT DOESNT WORK.
i just wanna fucking eat someone alive like take a bite out of them and then suck and fucking spit out the blood cause ive had enough. what happens after blood sucking? I CANT EVEN DO COOL MINECRAFT SHIT CAUSE IM NOT AN ACTUAL VAMPIRE. I AM A VAMPIRE BUT NONE OF THE BENEFITS ONLY THE WEAKNESSES. I AM WEAK AS FUCK, MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY, IN EVERY WAY. EXCEPT FOR ONE: I AT THE VERY LEAST FUCKING TRY TO NOT BE A NUISANCE TO OTHER PEOPLE WHO DON'T DISERVE IT. HOW HARD IS IT TO AT THE VERY FUCKING LEAST LOOK AT A RANDOM PERSON LIKE YOU COULD RESPECT THEM IF YOU KNEW THEM.
"Well it's just a rude and condescending and fucking idiotic face, you're looking too far into someone based on how they look at people they don't know."
yeah maybe you're right. probably not. but i dont want to get to know these people cause they're all the same.
Who am I even talking about this whole time? Teenagers. shut the fuck up about "teenagers were always bad its their job to revolt and be incredibly rude and stupid" I know that. american culture is just "those guys are dumb let's make our own thing."
examples:
the kkk
teenagers
the south/the confederacy
the entire fucking country cause british rule was intolerable or some shit (im not a loyalist by the way i hate england retarded country)
Children of a new generation change society in some way each time. its good and bad, or its just different whatever. the gen z generation teenagers hold the outcast characters to an idolistic and PAGAN level and everyone acts like their weird "haha i hate normal people" WHEN EVERYONE ACTS WEIRD, IT BECOMES NORMAL. YOU ARE THE NORMAL PEOPLE. "well you act weird so you're normal too, don't worry." Emo Age Fish told me that in the midst of the counter culture of america there are the true outcasts, who EVERYONE FUCKING HATES AND WILL KILL BECAUSE THEY DONT ASSIMILATE INTO THE NEW CULTURE WITH EVERYONE ELSE.
I FUCKING HATE IT BUT I AM A TRUE OUTCAST. NO I DONT LIKE THIS I DONT THINK IT'S COOL. READING ALL THOSE FUCKING BOOKS ABOUT OUTCAST CHARACTERS MADE ME FUCKING MAD, AND NOW IM FUCKING MAD KNOWING IM THE CHARACTER THAT MAKES ME FUCKING MAD.
How do I solve this problem?
a. assimilate into gen z culture, give up yourself to become someone else, and act all the fucking time
b. i dont know move to another country where they dont care as much about strange people
c. do some stupid shit like a bombing or a shooting and write a manifesto and take out your hatred of the world on the world. the problem with that stuff is you cant decifer who really diserves it or not so just dont even try because you're gonna ruin innocent people's lives, and you're a fucking idiot, or you've lost so much in your mind that it doesnt matter. basically c. become a serial killer or shooter
d. train yourself to be happy despite the hatred and the eyes constantly being beamed onto you. this is the hardest option.
I chose D. fuck you. i hate your culture i dont fit into any culture except my own. weebs? no. redditor? no. normal public school teenager? no. i could go on more but whatever. i tried all these things i always find out it isnt me. i am so half assed i put one foot into everything but never two feet. the other foot i keep for myself. i suck on it. i lick the blood off my toes that came from stepping on swollen cocks. yeah i cant even fit into being gay or asexual. im looking into being trans but ill probably be so half assed ill be a half transexual like i dont even make people act like im a woman (worded badly no offense to transexuals).
I don't even wanna be a part of internet culture as a whole anymore. the mainstream internet culture is like just so ingenuine. back in the good old days just kidding im drinking your blood as we fucking speak, the early 2000's, people could get in an arguement and actually scream at eachother. they werent afraid to show their anger. its different now its like if you show any strong emotion you lose because no one will take you seriously after that. people will get in a gay fight in the comments of a youtube community post and its all "yo deadass you stupid *skull emoji*" then "fatherless my guy" like i imagine they have these fake smug looks on their faces people do it in real life too where they're just smiling because showing your anger makes you lose.
The basis of all of this is THE FUCKING WALKING DEAD MENTALLITY of IF WE DON'T KILL THEM FIRST THEY WILL KILL US FIRST. THE PROBLEM WITH THAT IS EVERYONE IS TRYING TO KILL EACHOTHER BEFORE THE OTHER CAN. EVERYONE IS IN ATTACK MODE ALL THE TIME.
IF EVERYONE JUST LOWERED ALL THEIR WEAPONS AND REALIZED IT DIDNT HAVE TO BE THAT WAY NO ONE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THESE FAKE DEFENSES UP AGAINST OTHER PEOPLE. I'M PRETTY SURE ITS MUCH WORSE AROUND HERE CAUSE RICH PEOPLE (born rich) HAVE NO FUCKING SOUL SO THEY HAVE NO REASON TO BE GENUINE BECAUSE THEY PHYSICALLY CANT BECAUSE THEYRE LIKE ALIENS THAT ARE SO DISCONNECTED FROM LIFE LIKE YOU ARE RICH I KNOW THAT MAY CAUSE YOU MENTAL ISSUES BUT TRY TO WORK THROUGH THOSE AND DO SOMETHING WITH YOUR GOOD RNG INSTEAD OF FALLING DOWN INTO THE GUTTER TO FUCK YOURSELF UP WITH DRUGS AND ABUSE OLD AND HOMELESS PEOPLE.
I have some good RNG, I'm really smart, and just somehow know how to do everything in an extremely effective way, maybe its cause i use my brain, but i am not using my higher intelligence for SHIT. So im hypocritical for saying the stuff above, EXCEPT OH YEAH I DONT DO DRUGS AND I ACTUALLY TRY TO BE NICE TO PEOPLE BEFORE I KNOW FOR SURE I SHOULD BE MEAN. WHY WAS VAPING INVENTED WHO DID THIS YOU FUCKING IDIOTS YOU CREATED A GATEWAY DRUG TO ALL THE HORRIBLE SHIT YOU GAVE ALL THESE RICH KIDS AN EASY WAY TO THROW ALL THEIR SHIT AWAY ACTUALLY GOOD JOB NOW THAT I READ IT LIKE THAT THAT'S GREAT LET'S DEMOLISH THE RICH PEOPLE POPULATION. NOT EVEN A FUCKING JOKE OR SARCASM. EXCEPT I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THESE FUCKERS CAUSE THEY SHOW UP TO MY HOUSE UNDER THE TRAIN TRACKS AND THROW EGGS AND CALL MY SISTER A WHORE AND THEN GET AWAY WITH NO REPURCUSSIONS.
oh yeah so my carboard box is now like a shit ton of wood nailed together lined with duct tape and kind of hidden on the outside and ive got one window looking out at the lake and its pretty nice except for when spiders get in that is the fucking worst get out of my house.
i keep viles of blood beside my bed so if i force myself to wake up from the dayly sleep paralysis i can have a midday snack mmm i kinda want some blood now actually. i sometimes dream that im sleeping in my bed and there's a spider on me so i thrash around and freak out but my body isnt moving then i fully wake up and check around but there's no spider so i fall back asleep but i dont even fully fall asleep im in the sleep paralysis again for the whole day.
at night i go out and look for my next victim.
funny thing about that is my next victim is you. I'm gonna eat you alive, and suck on your neck so hard that the blood in your capilaries gets sucked down my throat. mmm. delicious.
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