God save my soul please

 Dear god please. I don’t wanna be a vampire anymore. I don’t wanna tear human flesh and feast on their veins. I don’t want to chew open the carotid arterie anymore. I don’t want to be helled underwater I want to sleep during the night and wake up in the morning and help people. No, I don’t wanna help people. I want only for myself. I want to be at piece. I want to be a piece in God’s work. I have done nothing to diserve god’s gifts, or even his mercy. 

Dear lord please make my teacher change the meeting time so I can sleep consistintly for 3 days straight. Please bend me back into the shape of a human. You ever try bending a paper clip back into shape after fucking it up? It will always be fucked up, unless you melt it down and pour it back into the paper clip mold. And even then it won’t be the same as it was before. Dear lord I don’t want to be the same as before I just want to not be a vampire. I don’t wanna be a creature of the night, I want to be a creature of the earth. A sinful scrambling human, fucking around with rocks and guns. In exchange... ... in exchange I won’t spread the word of the lord, or become a priest. I act only for myself, not for others, not even for God. I have nothing to offer in return. Maybe once I am poured out back into the shape I will find something to give. Or maybe,,, you could just take my soul. Do whatever you will with it. I don’t even use it. I am evil. 

God if you’re reading this, please clean my soul.