mission failed

Once again my soul declines to wield my body. I can barely move. I can feel only the slightly wisps of my spirit in my arms, which previously burned relentlessly. I wish to work but the staff in my mind refuse to work. The room is empty and quiet. The elder vampires tried to recruit me to their ranks, probably hoping I could give them the secrets to eternal life. I played along with their beckoning and manipulation but ultimately became scarce on the day of the blood moon. if you' re wondering why you didnt see it its case only vampires can see that kind of blood moon. humans can feel some days or nights are different but they dont know why now you know thats why. so yeah i didnt show up and theyre probably dying from vampire madness now. immortality drives terrestrial beings insane eventually. our vessels are just not equipped for it. even vampires seek true immortality, through new bodies and ascension and that kind of stuff. the elders seek knowledge from my "ability" to watch my body rot and decay from the safety of my (mostly) detached soul above, but they dont get it that even spirits go crazy. there is no ultimate answer to be found from vampirism. its just another thing. in the world of many veins and many rivers. a river of blood. they should have just come find me and pried the knowledge from my skull. maybe they will some time. but they dont like coming out into the light. black widow spiders are scary but they retreat if they can merely see you. like deer. creatures of shadow who fear the light. <--- vampires, not spiders or deer. I feel kind of bad though cause to make more sure that i would come to them they held an old lady hostage and i think they ate her cause i didnt show up. i kinda wanna make sure shes alive but its a can of worms. and i have enough worms. i sleep with them. in the dirt. and in the lakes. and in my eyes. 

k bye now I'm gonna go pretend like I'm someone interesting and then eat people when they get too close. 

the wirez are quiet tonight. it is peaceful. but melancholic. amy from evanescance watches me while I sleep. its kinda scary i might put the poster somewhere else.